It has been 6 weeks since my best friend of 35+ years passed away. I still can’t believe it. I think of her every day, wishing I could pick up the phone and call her like we used to do, laugh about life, cry about life, and then get back to life.
She died too soon, her liver destroyed by the pharmaceutical drugs she had been given to ease the pain she had from losing her leg with cancer years before. She fought a tough battle but loss on August 21st at 5:05 a.m. 2012.
I knew the battle was going on, being fought in the ICU of the hospital in Pittsburgh, her two daughters and husband of 46 years with her. I was in the house I just moved to, finally back in Maryland after 15 long years. I had text the daughters the day before, tried to call once, just wondering, hoping. I knew they had taken her off all the life support, the respirator, the tubes and pain medicines on the day before.
Usually I awake around 6 a.m. but that morning, the morning of the 21st, I awoke at 5:10, my friend on my mind. As I lay there trying to decide whether to go back to sleep or get up, a feeling passed through me. It was an energy, not a presence, but an energy ‘drop’. I thought I just felt my friend take her leave… her energy gone from this existence I am in, and to the one beyond this one. I sat up, and looked around the dark room, took a deep breath and wondered exactly what I just felt. It was a change, not a loss, actually something of peace, of joy. I felt the same when my little pug girl, my sweet Missy, passed in my arms just 8 months before.
Within seconds, my cell phone rang. It was not yet 5:20 a.m. I said hello and heard my friend’s daughter calmly tell me her mother now had two legs again, she was free.
Was it that freeing of the spirit, the energy that heats our human bodies to 98.6 and makes our kisses soft and warm upon our loved ones, was that the change in the energy I felt?
As I grow older, and am not bound by the religious dogma we have pounded into our minds to control the masses, I have to believe we are nothing more than that energy… an entity experiencing existence in this plane of existence, that we are all one connected web, one connected energy. We, all living things, are connected….we are one living entity. I think, with that belief, we should all be so much kinder to ourselves, and all parts of ourselves. I am think we can benefit from the compassion of all parts in this existence and certainly into the next, where I so hope we meet again.